Scissor Sisters

Chelsey Johnson is not actually in Virginia, but in an abortion clinic in Kansas
City. Apparently, after inserting a condom into her squid-mitten, Lacey
attached the other end to a water hose in order to “spice up” their sex
life. The two began making out while the hose was turned on and completely
forgotten about, lost in an orgy of ecstasy. The next thing they heard was
a loud pop, an orgasmic scream from Chelsey, and a flood of water out of her
meat locker. The incident was just noted as another wild, lesbian sex
affair until two days later, Chelsey (and everyone around her) could smell
the foulest of foul fish emanating from her nethers. The two attempted to
cover the smell with Febreeze, mayonnaise, and Lysol, gaining a nasty yeast
infection instead. The two then deduced that the water hose had impregnated
Chelsey, and subsequently drove to an abortion clinic in Kansas City as their
white-bread mother had taught them to always do in said situation. The
doctors then discovered the actual source of the smell: dozens of condom
pieces attached to her uterus, fallopian tubes, and cervix, decomposing from
vagina enzymes into a glue-like ectoplasm. Chelsey now gets her cut-up
squirrel vacuumed twice a day by a specialist until the “glue” is gone. So
Virginia actually equals Vagina.